1
00:00:02,039 --> 00:00:05,205
Joe, I'm gonna need
three copies of this.

2
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,875
- You want me to go out there and do that?
- Check out this site.

3
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,409
Go ahead.

4
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,236
Where is he?!

5
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:39,673
- Where is Venture?
- Venture?

6
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,309
Dude, no, stop!
There's been a mistake!

7
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,594
What now?

8
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:47,614
This isn't the secret Venture compound.
It's your accountant's office.

9
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:51,185
What? Are you kidding?
That was, like, my best entrance ever!

10
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,419
It was excellent.

11
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,087
- Very impressive.
- This sucks!

12
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:58,125
Wrong address. Wrong address.
Everybody back in the cocoon.

13
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,360
- Should we...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:03,096
Take the pens and the Post-its
and some, copy paper.

15
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,799
You always need copy paper.
And get that security tape!

16
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,735
I want a Quicktime
of my minty-fresh entrance

17
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:12,105
posted on my homepage by tomorrow!

18
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,795
Who's a pretty pussy cat?

19
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,663
Who's a pretty,
pretty pussy cat?

20
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,699
Yes. You are.

21
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,134
No, no! Just calm... Don't!

22
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,437
Okay, fine, go!
Just go!

23
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:48,876
Mr. Venture, you're back.
How was Japan?

24
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:51,411
Fan-freaking-tastic.
How'd you know?

25
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,647
- Call it a hunch.
- Is that what you call it?

26
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,783
No. I call it an Oni.
Actually, a Japanese demon.

27
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,353
So you can see it. Thank you!

28
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:02,089
Brock said it was the diet pills.
Can you get rid of it?

29
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:05,325
Yes, yes.
I have just the stuff!

30
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:08,328
These Oni are usually after
some form of retribution.

31
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,796
So what did you do?

32
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:12,799
Violate a sacred temple?
No. Let me guess.

33
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:16,069
You relieved yourself
in someone's zen garden.

34
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,504
Here we are!

35
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:21,942
One demon extraction
coming right up!

36
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,043
What the hell?

37
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,813
- Wily one, this demon of yours.
- Damn it!

38
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:29,149
Perhaps we should have snuck up on it.

39
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:33,887
Nice. It was perfectly content
to just tag along until you pissed it off.

40
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,723
Surprise! You don't know
what the hell you're doing.

41
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,959
The Tempest Tongs
should have worked.

42
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,929
I must consult a higher power!

43
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,197
Wait here while I go
to my daughter's closet.

44
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:48,435
Okay. I've reviewed the video
of the attack on Venture.

45
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,104
What happened?
Why did we suck?

46
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,473
How can we not suck
in the future?

47
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:59,279
One answer pops up every time.
Weaponry. 21?

48
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:02,382
Gentlemen,
I give you the Peda-Blade!

49
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:05,519
Two razor-sharp blades
menacingly attached to,

50
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,120
not the end of a skinny arm,

51
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,356
but the end of a long, fat leg,

52
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:12,326
giving us both
the reach and the edge,

53
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,928
or should I say two edges?

54
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,365
But we raided the wrong address!

55
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:21,835
We need real planning, not...
What? Figure skates?

56
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:25,405
Look. I am trying. This is really tough.
I know I'm not Dr. Girl...

57
00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:30,210
- Do not say her name!
- Forgive me,

58
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:33,447
but zee problem is one of planning,
not one of armament.

59
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,717
Mr. Zee Monarch
already has a dazzling armory.

60
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,585
What he needs is a strategist.

61
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:42,956
A man of his prestige cannot simply
go after an enemy all villy-nilly.

62
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,459
He can't give an enema
to free Willy? What?

63
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,028
Shut up, 21. You might learn
something from this guy.

64
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,097
What you need
is a second in command

65
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:53,233
who understands the intricacies
of organized villainy.

66
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:57,371
- Zis I could offer you.
- Perfect! You're hired, Number?

67
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,974
Number Killinger,
Dr. Henry Killinger.

68
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,210
And this is my Magic Murder Bag.

69
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:06,847
Come on, Deano! You are, like,
the worst wheelman ever.

70
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,916
We're actually moving slower
than when you were parallel-parking.

71
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:13,120
Gun it! Look for some jumps!
Try to get her up on two wheels!

72
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,288
Get something cool going, will you?

73
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,290
Don't distract the driver.

74
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:21,261
- Ten and two, ten and two.
- Hey. What's that up ahead?

75
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,498
I didn't know we got that much traffic
inside the compound.

76
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:28,402
I get it. I'll bet Brock set this up,
you know, to test us.

77
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,737
Okay, Mr. Handbook,
so what do we do?

78
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,739
We should pull over
to the shoulder.

79
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,742
I'll set up the road flares
and try to flag down a state trooper.

80
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:39,246
You see if anyone's been injured.
Wait! K-turn.

81
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,052
Hank!
Roll, Hank!

82
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,687
Tuck and roll!
Protect your limbs!

83
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,156
Will you come on?

84
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,661
Holy smokes!
Hey, lady. Are you okay?

85
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,730
Don't move her!
You're not supposed to...

86
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:58,799
See?

87
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,002
Master?!

88
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:06,306
Master, are you here?
I have need of your counsel.

89
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:10,477
Orpheus, you'll love this. Check me out.
I'm Catherine the Great's horse

90
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:13,580
to teach you a lesson
about biting off more than you can chew.

91
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,316
My partially lovely assistant,
Miss Manyface,

92
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:17,818
will play the part of Catherine.

93
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,820
- Hi.
- Enough with the chatter.

94
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,355
Get under there. Don't wince!

95
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:26,259
Master, far be it from me to question
the relevance of your symbolism,

96
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:30,831
but I'm fairly certain the whole horse
thing was an urban legend.

97
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,334
What do you think?
Pretty sweet, huh?

98
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:37,704
- This floor totally lights up.
- If you don't mind me saying,

99
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:40,574
you seem to be a tad
overstaffed in your control room.

100
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,442
- You could reassign...
- Say no more!

101
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,111
You're right again, Number 2.

102
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:47,314
Him and... the dead guy next to him.

103
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:52,786
This place is all creepy since that mumbly
guy just magically showed up.

104
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,355
Totally!
And those new Black Guard dicks

105
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,691
took the <i>Tekken 3</i> game
out of the lounge!

106
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,593
Those guys are wicked spooky.

107
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,462
How unfair is it
that they get the cool uniforms?

108
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:06,266
- I'm still wearing an orange jerkin.
- Jerkin...

109
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,603
One of you little chatter bugs
want to pop open the Venture files?

110
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,972
Killinger needs
to be brought up to speed.

111
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,208
- Yeah. Those files are classified.
- By whom?

112
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,943
By you.

113
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,513
Okay. Great.
Well, now they're unclassified.

114
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,049
Boys!
Where the hell?

115
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,417
Boys, come in.

116
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,287
Hey, you seen the boys?

117
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:30,257
They were supposed to be
practicing for their road test,

118
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,425
but looks like
they forgot the car part.

119
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:36,062
What are you guys... into there?

120
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,432
Orpheus is making me follow
that magic head thing I told you about.

121
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,202
We're very close
to divining its will!

122
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:46,206
He's got you doing it now.
You guys are cute together.

123
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,209
I'm gonna go look for the boys.

124
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,311
Story of my life.

125
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:55,415
It stopped. It seems interested
in this automobile.

126
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:59,719
Tell me. Is it associated
with some recent sin of yours?

127
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:02,923
I wish! I can't remember the last time
I got lucky in that car.

128
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,058
Unless you count the dollar
I found under the seat.

129
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,094
Can't see why the beast would want...
What are you doing?

130
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,864
That wasn't so hard, was it?
Problem solved.

131
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,700
No, Mr. Venture.
You're still bound to the beast

132
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,436
by the gossamer,
invisible threads of psychic...

133
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,273
Mother of God!
Help!

134
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:26,179
I suggest we get in
and see where it takes us.

135
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,981
What if it wants
to go back to Japan?

136
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,984
Zee Venture problem
is very volatile.

137
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,986
We must approach it with caution,

138
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,789
but first we need
to address our domestic issues.

139
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,991
The floating cocoon
is in bad need of...

140
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,794
The cocoon's fine.
I think the problem is you.

141
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,662
He's right. Yeah.

142
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:46,566
Everybody just thinks you're so great,
but you're just so not!

143
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,635
- Who do you think you are?
- Come on.

144
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:52,806
This guy just waltzes in here
with his huge baby-bearing hips

145
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,641
and he starts changing everything.

146
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,077
Zat's not fair.
I never chose my build.

147
00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:01,147
I can't believe you guys are falling
for this sheep in wolf's clothing.

148
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:05,218
He's trying to destroy us from the inside.
How can you not see that?

149
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,954
Nobody talks to my hot,
new Number 2 like that!

150
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:12,592
Black Guards, bring him
to the Chamber of A Thousand Torments!

151
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:16,029
There you may deliver
torments 1 through 980.

152
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:19,032
Killinger, I'm gonna
let you do torment 993...

153
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,234
'cause you seem
to have bigger thumbs than me.

154
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:25,012
Forgive me, but your methods
of discipline may be too Draconian.

155
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:28,174
Give me a moment alone
with Mr. Henchman Number 24.

156
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,610
I know I can change his mind.

157
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,812
Wait.
I almost forgot.

158
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,447
My Magic Murder Bag.

159
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,619
We've stopped.

160
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:42,322
- What is this place?
- A cheap motel.

161
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:47,160
Perhaps it wants us to stay here
and rest until morning.

162
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,463
Wait. I know what you're doing.
You're trying to get me in the sack!

163
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,098
I beg your pardon!

164
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,167
No wonder nobody
but you can see that head.

165
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,502
How dare?

166
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:57,871
The tights, the jewelry,
always tagging along.

167
00:08:57,937 --> 00:09:01,241
"Let me get my big gay cloak,
and I'll join you!"

168
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:04,678
- I'm trying to help you!
- Help me out of my speedsuit.

169
00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:11,658
Hey!

170
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:16,823
Jock Rock my ass!
Listen to those lyrics, man.

171
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:19,492
It's all about love and longing.

172
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:23,196
Yes, and hobbits, too.

173
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:28,401
Look. It's a metaphor.
They wrote about a lot of other stuff.

174
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,004
Why am I arguing with a robot?

175
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,640
Right up ahead.

176
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,276
Don't think
we're done talking about this.

177
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,382
Oh, no.

178
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:49,356
Oh, thank God.

179
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:58,932
Oh, crap. Myra's back.

180
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,338
Well, isn't this new and different?

181
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:08,241
- Hey, Dean.
- What?

182
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,643
- I smell pee-pee.
- Well, what are you looking at me for?

183
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,179
Dean, did you get pee-pee
scared again?

184
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,949
No. Shut up.
Where are we this time?

185
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:19,452
? <i>Hush, little darling,
don't say a word</i> ?

186
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,788
? <i>Mama's gonna buy you
a mockingbird</i> ?

187
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,423
Okay. That is creepy.

188
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,659
? <i>And if that mockingbird
don't sing</i> ?

189
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,029
You're up. You can relax.

190
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,599
The nightmare is finally over.

191
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,100
No, it isn't.

192
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:37,704
Hanky, my little,
snotty-puggy-dinky.

193
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:41,474
Dean, Dean, Dean, Jimmy Dean,
Jimmy Dean sausages.

194
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,877
You're safe now.

195
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:46,546
You're with mommy!

196
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,954
I have to bring
the prisoner his medication.

197
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:57,590
- Give me the medication. I'll do it.
- Okay, but,

198
00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:00,560
you have to administer it to him.
It's a suppository.

199
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:03,129
You know, it's up-the-butt medicine.

200
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,699
Oh, don't knock or anything.

201
00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:09,502
It's not like I live
with eighty guys and no women,

202
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:12,071
so there is no chance
I'm masturbating.

203
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,207
Chill. I thought I was rescuing you.

204
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,376
What did he do to you?
What's in his Magic Murder Bag?

205
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,311
Dude, have you even talked to him?

206
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,380
He's great!
He's like Mr. Belvedere.

207
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:23,716
He knows nothing about honor
or living by the sword.

208
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,319
- He's not like us.
- What are you talking about?

209
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,422
Seriously. That Killinger guy
has brainwashed the whole cocoon.

210
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,525
Man, will you just talk to him already?
He's amazing!

211
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,093
He cured my herpes.

212
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,696
I bet he could even help you
with your problem.

213
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:39,933
He's already got to you.
Don't touch me! Stay back.

214
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,535
- Stay back, pod-person!
- All right. Whatever.

215
00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:44,304
You're not our mom!

216
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,973
- You just can't be!
- On account of the crazy.

217
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:51,077
Search your feelings, boys.
You know it to be true, so true.

218
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:54,481
Funny how it seems always in time
but never in line for dreams.

219
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,049
Okay. We're losing her again.

220
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,452
I bought a ticket to the world,
but now I've come back again!

221
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:02,388
If you're supposed to be our mom,
then why you got us tied up?

222
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,424
People only do that
when they want to kill us.

223
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,859
Or hold us for ransom.

224
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:08,895
- Or touch us inappropriately.
- What? When? That never happ...

225
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:11,498
Sergeant Hatred?
What? Did you block that out?

226
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:15,168
Wait. You were passed out from the wine.
Most of it was awful. Trust me.

227
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:19,339
This is no life for my sweet boys.
I would have never, ever...

228
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:24,010
Rusty, why have you forsaken me?!

229
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,713
Have I ever told you
how Mommy and Daddy met?

230
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,520
Eat web!

231
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,789
What are you?

232
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,525
Black Guards!

233
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:41,227
He's covered my Magic Murder Bag
<i>mit</i> silly string.

234
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,796
You can silence me,
but there will be others.

235
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,599
<i>Semper fidelis tyrannosaurus</i>/

236
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,568
It's <i>"Sic semper tyrranis."</i>

237
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,271
You said,
"Always faithful terrible lizard."

238
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,939
I did? Cool!

239
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:58,611
? <i>I've got ice and snacks</i> ?

240
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,781
And here's some Mercurochrome
for you road burns.

241
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,983
Thanks.
Sorry about earlier.

242
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,553
I'm probably just still jet-lagged
and, you know,

243
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,454
floating demon head and all.

244
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,056
Apology accepted.

245
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:14,861
Just stay on your side
of the room... tiger.

246
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:18,064
Yes.

247
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,602
You... You want to go
halfsies on a skin flick?

248
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,137
'Kay.

249
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,306
You might want to let me go.
Fair warning.

250
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,508
'Cause when I get scared,
I get super gassy.

251
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,644
Once I threw up on a kid
sitting in front of me in a tilt-a-whirl.

252
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,514
Don't forget when you passed out
on the Monarch's cat.

253
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,950
Yeah. I killed Mr. Mostly Mittens.
Oh, my God!

254
00:13:37,116 --> 00:13:38,618
- You're 24!
- Duh!

255
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,955
You're still under the hypnospell.
Okay. This is for your own good.

256
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,958
Look into my eyes.
You're extremely relaxed

257
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,527
and you feel the urge to let me go.

258
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:52,031
You know in your heart that I will
rescue you and save the whole cocoon.

259
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,867
Will you knock it off?
I'm just taking you to your room.

260
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,972
And that is what you will tell them.
Your limbs are getting heavy.

261
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,975
So heavy. Sleep.

262
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,644
Sleep. Sl...

263
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:07,113
Crap! I fell on my cellular pho...

264
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:10,617
Sleepy, so sleepy!

265
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:16,556
He was my first job,
fresh out of the O.S.I. academy.

266
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,225
I was still just a girl.
What did I know?

267
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:22,562
"Never let your guard down,
never let him out of your sight,

268
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,697
never fall in love."

269
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:29,102
That's what they taught me.
But I couldn't help myself!

270
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,537
<i>Your father...</i>

271
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,140
<i>I spent 24 hours a day with him.</i>

272
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,743
<i>First, there were casual glances,</i>

273
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:41,180
<i>the occasional brush of the hand,
clever innuendo.</i>

274
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,617
<i>It was inevitable.</i>

275
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,455
<i>Something would happen
sooner or later.</i>

276
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:53,359
? <i>Then the pleasure stopped..</i> ?

277
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:59,365
No, no. It was not ooky!

278
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:04,037
It was the most wonderful,
passionate night of either of our lives!

279
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,638
And nine months later,

280
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:09,709
you two perfect wet,
little pink kittens came into the world

281
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:11,678
from out of my body.

282
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,680
Oh, double eww!

283
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,016
I just didn't know what else to do.
He's taken over the whole cocoon

284
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:21,120
and you're our last hope. Oh, this?
This is the new Monarch Mobile.

285
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,190
That's how bad it's gotten.
It doesn't even burn nitrous.

286
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,259
It's, like, a family car.
My God!

287
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,761
Once he painted wings on it
with water-based paint,

288
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,998
so, when it rained, it dripped off
and looked like we tie-dyed it,

289
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:35,301
like we took it to Magic Mountain
and did that spin-art thing on it.

290
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,871
- You remember spin-art?
- Yes, I remember spin-art.

291
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,974
- Spin-art was so cool.
- Just drive.

292
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,911
Thanks, buddy.

293
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:49,082
You ain't much in a fight,
but you're good at rescue and recovery.

294
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:52,785
Yeah, I thought she was gone for good
after the last time too,

295
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:55,822
but some crazy people won't stay
locked up, you know what I mean?

296
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:07,600
That's beautiful, H.E.L.P.eR.
What was that, Shel Silverstein?

297
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,337
Well, I don't think Maya Angelou
was talking about this chick.

298
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,839
She's as deadly as they come

299
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:17,076
and if she hurts those boys again,
I'll take her down permanently this time.

300
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:20,313
No, not Maya Angelou.

301
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:24,550
Just keep scanning those tire tracks
with your infrared, okay?

302
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,924
Okay, okay!
I'm up damn it!

303
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:35,161
Your father had me locked away,
locked me away, away,

304
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:39,165
so he could have you all to himself,
so he could fill you with his lies!

305
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,334
He never once
told you about me, has he?

306
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,770
Not in all your 19 years!

307
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,638
- We're 16.
- You see?

308
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,541
See what, crazy lady?
Make sense!

309
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,209
He's brainwashed you

310
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:53,012
with those lie machines
he makes you sleep in.

311
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:56,849
That's why I had to kidnap you.
To save you!

312
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,552
And here are
your brothers and sisters.

313
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,121
They're hungry.

314
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:06,325
Oh, my babies!
You must be starved, too.

315
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:10,596
Let mama feed you, my thirsty babies.
Let mama love you!

316
00:17:18,241 --> 00:17:19,205
May I help you?

317
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,808
Isn't it a big early
for a costume party?

318
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,377
Why, you throwing one, Dracula?

319
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,320
My friend and I would like to check out.

320
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,319
? <i>I feel the spirit..</i> ?

321
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,789
Mr. Venture!
I could use some assistance!

322
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:40,560
I can't believe I'm hanging out with you.
I always thought we'd get along.

323
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,796
You were kind of distant,
which is cool, you know. That's fine.

324
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,199
You know what rules?
That outfit rules.

325
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:50,770
Dude, I just copped an accidental feel.
Wicked sorry.

326
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,706
- What are you doing? That's alarmed.
- Yes. I know.

327
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,342
I'm the one who installed it.
Now, shut up and follow my lead.

328
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,114
Well.

329
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,585
So you as good at fighting
as you are at talking?

330
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,055
Hell, no. Look at me!
I'm more of a weapons expert.

331
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,964
That is so excellent.

332
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,533
I like to do that, too. It's soft.

333
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:24,303
Do not follow me.
Just stay here and do... whatever.

334
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,705
Okay.

335
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,608
Yeah. I am totally falling for her.

336
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:33,279
Thank the maker! I've been holding
that back for, like, two hours.

337
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:36,148
Safety first.
Bukley buck buck.

338
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,452
- Daddy!
- Hello, boys. I see you've met Myra.

339
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,487
Did she tell you how
she burnt down our house yet?

340
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:44,824
No hellos for me?
Now, Rusty,

341
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,094
is that any way
to treat your forever girl?

342
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:50,596
Dean, tell this lunatic that
my lawyer has advised me

343
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,098
not to communicate with her.

344
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:54,700
My dad's lawyer has advised him
not to communicate with you.

345
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,671
Stay close.

346
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,539
Any of your weapons still work?

347
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:04,243
All right, well...
Keep your helicopter blades on,

348
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:07,813
wave your arms around, squeal a lot.
That might be scary.

349
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:11,784
Damn it!

350
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:17,123
All right.
We're doing this.

351
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,228
Ten and two, ten and two.

352
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,697
? <i>My muse is calling</i> ?

353
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,752
Everyone okay?

354
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,722
- Everyone except Mommy.
- She'll be all right.

355
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:52,458
- I feel like Catherine the Great.
- Where's Dr. "O"?

356
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,662
They smell my cat.

357
00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,599
Wait, wait, wait.
So we never attack Venture?

358
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:01,968
Zere is no need.

359
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,503
My plans for a summit
are both simple <i>und</i> elegant.

360
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,172
And completely retarded!

361
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,574
Did you just mumble something
about a summit?

362
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:11,143
That is not crushing Venture!
You don't get it.

363
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,878
- We have to...
- You should move.

364
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:15,848
You don't want her to land on you
when she falls from zee ceiling.

365
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:18,417
When who calls for a healing? What?

366
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:23,022
- What the hell is she doing here?
- She has come to rescue you.

367
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,524
- From what?
- From loneliness, you silly-billy.

368
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:28,361
- Who the hell are you?
- Dr. Henry Killinger. Wait.

369
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,632
Here. Give these
to zee lovely woman

370
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:36,802
and zis is for you.
Mr. Zee Monarch's journal.

371
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,338
His love for you
is spelled out on every page

372
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,674
and there are
some very nice drawings, also.

373
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,909
- That's private!
- Love is not private.

374
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,479
Love is to be shared.

375
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,115
I have locked you in.

376
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:52,118
Neither of you may leave
until you have reached compromise.

377
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,820
Good luck,
and may love show you zee way.

378
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:57,823
Say goodbye
to all your pretty children for me.

379
00:20:58,057 --> 00:21:00,026
Can you understand
what he's saying?

380
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,627
Like, half the time.

381
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:06,032
My umbrella is stuck on something.
I require assistance.

382
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,969
- So is she or isn't she?
- Okay, Hank, look!

383
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:14,173
She used to be Power Cat
on <i>American Gladiator.</i>

384
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:17,877
Show gets tanked,
she checks herself into the nuthouse.

385
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,980
Every couple of years,
she puts on the old costume,

386
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:25,351
kidnaps you or tries to kill your dad
or burns down the compound.

387
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,887
Depends on what meds
she's coming off of.

388
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:30,022
How come
we don't remember her then?

389
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,992
Look. You don't remember
because you're cl...

390
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,628
Cl-cl-cl...

391
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:38,330
I can't help feeling like we're
not getting the whole story.

392
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:41,133
Right! Maybe she was telling the truth.

393
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,969
All right! So I [bleep]-ed her!
What of it?

394
00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:16,702
Come, Liebe-Scheusal.
You tried your best.

395
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:20,473
Yes. You failed to reunite them,
but look at it zis way.

396
00:22:20,518 --> 00:22:23,309
You saved his boys,
<i>und</i> zat's what counts.

397
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:26,612
Compromise, my friend,
is zee essence of diplomacy

398
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:29,715
and diplomacy
is zee cornerstone of love.

399
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,618
? <i>Sveet love</i> ?

400
00:22:32,668 --> 00:22:37,218
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